I still remember the first time I was making my Myspace profile back in around 2005. I was in the Air Force and had just moved to Montgomery Alabama from Japan. I was sitting in a community center for young people in the Military called "The Lookout," and fiddling around making a profile. I thought, "What fun!". I get to pick my own music and create my own background along with listing all the things about yourself. That was the beginning of my life in the social media experience. I'm not sure why I ended up switching to Facebook because I like the features of Myspace better, but it happened nevertheless. Fast forward to my life now in 2018. Life could not be more different. I wasn't a Jew back then for one thing, and was in the United States Air Force in Japan. I've had so many different experiences and along the way have met so many different people who I, of course, end up collecting on Facebook. After many years of the Facebook experience, I think I've realized how Facebook has effected my life and many others. While I think Facebook can be used for good, I think for us it's time to say goodbye to it and here are the reasons why:
First I want to say the things I like about Facebook and will still be using. My favorite thing is actually the Facebook groups. I think they are so useful, for example some of the groups I belong to after moving to Israel are "Dogs for Olim" is a group for people new to living in Israel and who want information on where to get a dog. You get updates on dogs that need homes, or when they are having adoption days. Another group I belong to is the community I live in group which allows you to get information on what is happening specifically in the community, and ask questions to the locals everything from hours to stores, to getting an onion because I don't want to go all the way to the grocery store, and instead just go a few houses down to a friendly neighbor who is willing to give me an onion. If you have a business, Facebook is a great way to advertise and get connected with people. Keeping people informed and keeping people connected who you might not other wise be connected over the decades I think Facebook is great at.
Now for the downsides. One of the biggest reasons is how Facebook can affect your emotional state. There are a range of emotions you can feel while using Facebook, and feeling good and happy isn't always the primary emotion. In fact more often than not, it can actually bring the opposite of happiness. Studies have shown that Facebook can make people jealous, angry, depressed, annoyed, and sad. The Facebook feed is good when you find out things you want to know about people, and bad when you find out things you wish you never knew. It can lead people to be less satisfied with their lot in life. It's the grass is always greener syndrome. Most people do not post their dirty laundry on Facebook (thank G-d), however there are always exceptions. One of the reasons Lashon Haro (negative speech) is so bad is whatever it is you learn about someone, it can change your perception of them for the bad. For example, I've seen some people post their dirty laundry for everyone to see, men posting offensive posts about women's body parts or something, people's political views and how they speak to other people who disagree with them, or public shaming posts. All of these is most of the time are either TMI(To much information), inappropriate, or just annoying and offensive. Jealousy is also a huge reason for unhappiness. I know people who have unfriended people because they saw they weren't invited to a party or something from a "friend" they thought they were close to, and were to hurt by the fact they weren't invited they unfriended them. There is no end to the amount of things that can make people feel bad and jealous about. https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/2b71df56-1cdb-46a1-9122-4e3d7ed98e59
If adults are experiencing all these negative side effects, then should kids (who are even more prone to the side effects) be using Facebook? This is another reason I am letting go of Facebook. Since I don't want my kids using it, I think it's best to be an example and not use it either. Studies show that teens who use Facebook had more feelings of anxiety, depression and loneliness. Since they are still developing they are still learning how to cope with all the different things they go through, it doesn't make sense to give them Facebook and make it even harder for them than things already are.
https://childmind.org/article/how-using-social-media-affects-teenagers/
While it's nice to be to able to look at all the statuses of all the people you know on the Facebook feed, I don't think it is really a necessary thing for us to do on a daily basis. Even with the people closest to me, I don't need to know what they are doing every day of their lives, nor do I need to inform other people my daily status. Judaism teaches that every person was put on their earth with their own unique mission that only they can fulfill on this earth. It's up to them to carry it out and help make the world a better place and bring G-d's presence into the world. Facebook can be a tool to help communicate, and it can also be used a a huge distraction from using the precious time G-d gave us in the way that we should. My husband and I are going through the book, "Chesbon Hanefesh," which is about how to improve your character traits. One of the character traits it lists is "diligence" and a short description of it is, "Always find something to do, for yourself or for a friend and don't allow one moment of your life to be wasted." Diligence means using every second we have been given on this earth the best way possible. Every time you waste time you mark down how many for that day and then count up the total for the week. I noticed the most demerits I got were because of Facebook. It's so easy to spend to much time on it and there are definitively more productive ways of using what little time Hashem gave us on this earth.
Not only can going through the Facebook feed by a waste of time, after thinking about the effects of Facebook I realized that it doesn't even really bring me that much joy. If I was going to spend some leisure time doing something that really contributed to my happiness, Facebook does not make the list of one of those things.
Results in poor communication:
Often people will use Facebook as their primary way to contact us, which is fine if you have no other way to contact us because we just met or something, but if you are a close person to us, Facebook should not the be primary way to communicate with close family and friends. People find out family members have died on Facebook rather then people calling them personally to deliver the news.
Negative things Facebook as a company has done:
Facebook is run by we all know the famous Mark Zuckerberg, another fellow Jew. Yet for some reason he does more to protect terrorists than his own people. As well as his new "censorship" of news.
- http://www.newsweek.com/why-cant-facebook-take-down-all-terrorist-content-782598
- https://www.cnbc.com/2018/01/17/facebook-and-fake-news-controversy-in-philippines-around-rappler.htm
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiD-pZ1mViY
- Inciting violence against Jews:
- Video: The Big Facebook Experiment: One page incites against Jews. One page incites against Palestinians. Which page will be closed by Facebook?
References:
- Quit social media | Dr. Cal Newport | TEDxTysons
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E7hkPZ-HTk
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CcPWvnlVBY
- way:https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/108390/jewish/What-is-Lifes-Purpose.htm
- http://etzion.org.il/en/you-shall-not-place-stumbling-block-blind-chazals-metaphoric-approach
- https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/10/01/loneliness-felt-intensely-young-people-study-finds-turning-facebook/
- https://www.marketwatch.com/story/new-study-claims-facebook-instagram-and-snapchat-are-linked-to-depression-2018-11-09
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